


two beds are lonelier than one

by freckledxielian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), One Shot, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Sharing a Bed, it's so comforting guys, let sirius address remus's insecurities, like the briefest mention, mentions of james potter and peter pettigrew, this aint about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26445922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledxielian/pseuds/freckledxielian
Summary: Sirius can't sleep without Remus, who retired to his own bed for the night. It turns out Remus can't either-- but it's more because of his doubts and racing thoughts than the chill.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 16
Kudos: 127





	two beds are lonelier than one

Sirius woke up feeling that something was distinctly _wrong_. He wasn't curled up beside Remus like he usually was; he wasn’t even in the same bed as the other boy. Bleary eyed, and to be honest, a bit cold without his personal space heater, Sirius rolled over with a groan before landing feet first onto the floor. 

Shuddering at the ice-like tile, he shuffled over to what was meant to be the Remus Bed, dragging his duvet behind him like a particularly heavy cape. The Remus Bed, he mused, was improperly named, for Remus did all bed-related activities in the Remus-and-Sirius Bed. 

Tonight though, the fourposter may hold some claim to its old title.

Sirius drew back the curtain inch by inch, not sure what to expect. If he squinted, maybe he could see the outline of a leg… Sirius began feeling around gently to find a place to settle his weight so he could get around to cuddling his exhausted, dumb ass boyfriend that couldn’t even crawl into the right bed, when the still body bent at the waist, bringing Remus’s face into the moonlight.

It was a sudden movement, and the stark lighting morphed his handsome face into something hauntingly skeletal and pale. In short, Sirius had drowsily approached a sleeping angel only to get a nightmare risen.

He flinched, just hard enough to shift his feet wrong, step on his formerly _majestic_ blanket cape, and hit the floor with a thud. The dead look in Remus’s eyes was replaced with concern in an instant, as he pushed himself up by the arms into sitting up properly and leaned over the side of the bed. 

Sirius glared at him while rubbing at the developing bruise on his butt. “Jesus fuck, Moony.”

Remus’s lip curled ever so slightly. “I was under the impression of ‘Jesus virgin’, actually, but I appreciate your insight.”

He reached out a hand for Sirius to grab and pulled him up, catching him around the waist when he almost slipped on the blanket again (so maybe there was a reason muggles didn’t like capes, Sirius was starting to understand) but he couldn’t help but be a bit grateful when the cursed piece of cloth lead to Remus drawing him closer, until he was hugging Sirius’s waist. “You okay?” He asked, face mushed against Sirius’s stomach, his warm breath washing across the fabric of his pajamas. 

Sirius ran a hand through Remus’s tawny waves before drawing his face up and away— god, the absence of heat was noticeable as the air rushed to fill the gaps of where they had been pressed together— so that he could look him in the eye.

Remus looked tired, brown eyes sunken and dull except for the remnants of mocking warmth from his teasing that was draining away under scrutiny. His arms fell slack against the standing man’s waist, his head leaning into his touch in a way that begged release so that he could slump forward and hide from the world, for just a little longer.

“I’m fine,” Sirius reassured gently. _Are you?_ He wanted to ask, but wasn’t sure he would get an honest answer. Distraction didn’t seem the way to go either; he was beginning to realize that while laughter provided some relief, it didn’t solve the problem. Remus taught him that. Sirius had joked and laughed through a mouth full of blood, but with Remus, distant and quiet, it felt inappropriate. Dismissive. Perhaps, for once in his life, he was too worried, cared too much to make light of the situation.

As Remus pulled away, Sirius realized that maybe he hadn’t fallen asleep in the wrong bed at all, that maybe he had wanted to sleep in the Remus Bed. On _purpose_.

Maybe he didn’t want Sirius.

The werewolf in question collapsed onto his back again with a sigh. Sirius hovered. 

“Moony,” he called in a whisper, looking for signs that he woke up James (Peter slept like the dead _and_ he knew when to mind his business, thank Merlin), “do you want me to leave? Did I wake you? I was just worried, you see-“ Remus’s hands reached out and yanked Sirius onto his bed, positioning him so that his head rested against his chest. Sirius blinked up at him, hearing his heartbeat thud. 

This was how Remus held Sirius every time his family got too much. How did Sirius hold Remus when he felt he had committed a crime for existing? For when he felt like a burden on the marauders? For when he pushed himself past his breaking point trying to be the perfect student, because the school was taking a risk on him?

Sirius didn’t know. 

He didn’t know. God, he didn’t, did he? Remus didn’t _let_ him.

He was decidedly staring at the ceiling instead of Sirius’s questioning gaze. “You weren’t sleeping at all, were you?” Sirius whispered into his chest. 

Remus slowly shook his head. “No, no I was not.”

_Thump, thump, thump,_ Remus’s heartbeat filled the silence. 

Remus hadn’t come to their bed because he knew he wouldn’t sleep. He didn’t want Sirius to see him like this, but the fact of the matter was- “You’re an idiot, Moony.”

Remus gave a self deprecating snort. “Can’t all be geniuses like you, Pads,” He said in a light tone that fell flat without its usual nudge and overall warmth.

Sirius slapped his chest in reprimand. “You’re an idiot,” he repeated, “how am I supposed to help when you’re all the way over here?” _When you avoid me?_

Remus’s hold tightened for a moment, before relaxing. His shoulders lost some of their tension. “Didn’t want to trouble you,” he mumbled into the crown of Sirius’s head.

“Can’t trouble me. I _am_ trouble.” Sirius said, just to watch Remus fight a smile. More seriously, he said, “Moony, you have to realize by now that there’s nothing I won’t do for you.”

A shaky inhale. There was no disguising it, not when he could hear it rattle in Remus’s chest, head pressed close. 

“I made a commitment as your friend to help you shoulder your load, and I’m not going to back out now that I’m your partner. You’re stuck with me, Remus Lupin, and you shouldn't ever have to carry all this alone ever again.” A trembling hand began to smooth over Sirius’s dark hair in a repetitive motion. “So don’t shut me out, okay?”

The hand stilled. Sirius turned to look up and saw tears silently streaming down Remus’s face. 

“Thank you.”

Sirius moved to wipe away his tears, caging in his face with his hands and rubbing his thumbs across the other boy’s cheekbones. “I’ve got you, just like you’ve got me, alright?” 

Throat thick, Remus said, “Alright, Pads. Alright.” 

“Alright,” Sirius repeated, smoothing the wrinkled shirt covering Remus’s chest and leaning up to kiss him on his damp cheek. As he settled down again by his boyfriend’s side, nuzzling into his warmth, Remus gave him a watery smile. “Now, as handsome as my face is, close your eyes and get some rest. I’ll feature in your dreams, if you’re lucky.”

Remus chuckled. “Goodnight, Pads.”

“Goodnight, Moony.”

Remus hummed and pressed a kiss to the top of his head as Sirius listened to his heartbeat and breath slow. They would awake hours later, still wrapped in each other's arms, Sirius watching a gentle smile on Remus's face as he slept, pressing a kiss to his cheek as brown eyes blinked into awareness, Remus kissing him full-on the mouth, for all of his complaints about morning breath.

From then on, there were two Remus-and-Sirius beds; they slept better together, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! thank you so much for reading. please leave a comment and/or kudos if you enjoyed :^) i think it turned out pretty well for being written at 3 AM, what about you?


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